


Insecurities

by stargatesg1971



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Angst, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-15
Updated: 2012-04-15
Packaged: 2017-11-03 17:09:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/383872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stargatesg1971/pseuds/stargatesg1971
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blair feels its time to move out of the loft...set after Crossroads.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Insecurities

He hasn’t asked me to leave, but he went to Clayton Falls for space, right? He obviously thinks I’m suffocating him. I guess I can understand that. I’m always around so he doesn’t get much time to himself, neither do I, but then, I don’t really want it. I like spending time with him. I thought he felt the same way too, but….obviously not.

I know he wants me out; he just doesn’t want to say the words out loud. It’s ok Jim. I can read between the lines.

I got ‘in the way’ for years with Naomi and never did anything about it, but things are different now. I was just a kid back then and, well, I’m not anymore and I’m not about to stay anywhere I’m not wanted.

It’s not like our friendship is over. We’ll still be working together, just not living together. It’s not the end of the world, so, why does it feel like it is?

I suppose I should leave a note really. It’s not fair to just cut and run. Like Jim, I’m not keen on saying the words out loud, and I really don’t want him here when I leave. It hurts like hell already.

I grab a notepad and pen from my bag and slowly make my way into the kitchen to sit by the table one last time. This is one note I’m not looking forward to writing.

As I go to sit down I notice a red light flashing on the answering machine. I try to ignore its alluring blink but in truth, I welcome the distraction and walk over to it, hitting the ‘play’ button with enthusiasm.

_If you’re listening to this we’re not here, so leave a message after the beep and one of us will get back to you._

_BEEEEPPPP_

_Damn it! You should be there by now. When you get this message, ring me. I need you to..…_

_Simon?_

_Jim! The DA is driving me crazy, I need you and Sandburg to come back and complete the Henderson report before I kill someone._

_*laughs* I thought we had till Friday._

_We did, but things have changed and **now** the DA wants to get a court date set._

_What’s the rush?_

_I’ll fill you in with the details when you get here._

_Ok. Once, Sandburg gets back…._

_He’s not there?_

_No, I dropped him off at the university; he had some papers to grade._

_*sigh* He could be ages; can’t you come down on your own? You should be able to complete enough information for them to secure a date, and then Sandburg can fill in the rest, in the morning?_

_Ok. I’ll be there in half an hour but I **swear** if Sandburg leaves before I get back, I’m going to kill you._

_What do you mean, leave?_

_Never mind._

_Jim?_

_I just get the feeling he’s on the verge of moving out._

_Why?_

_His stuff has been slowly disappearing from the loft over the last couple of weeks, and the living room is spookily tidy for Sandburg._

_Damn! What’s he said?_

_Nothing, but he’s hinted he might go away for a couple of days to meet up with Naomi._

_And you don’t believe him?_

_I think it’s just an excuse to get out of here, and once he’s gone, he won’t come back._

_Is he still upset about what went on in Clayton Falls?_

_I think so._

_We talked about this, Jim. I thought you were going to clear the air._

_I tried, but he won’t listen to me. He’s convinced he’s getting in the way and it doesn’t matter what I say, or do, he won’t believe me._

_Try again, Jim. You can’t just give up._

_**I’m not giving up!** _

_Alright, alright…it’s not me you need to convince. Have you told him how important his friendship is to you and that you don't want to lose it?_

_Not in those exact words, but he **knows** how important our friendship is to me._

_Does he?_

_**Of course he does!**_

_Sometimes we all need a little reassurance, Jim. The kid’s had a rough ride lately and you weren’t very subtle about how disappointed you were that we’d turned up, you practically told us to leave! How the hell do you think that made us feel?_

_I just wanted some time alone I never meant to hurt anybody *deep sigh*...you know that, right?_

_Yes, Jim, I know that. I told you already, we’re good._

_Why can’t it be that simple with Sandburg?_

_You’re asking me? You’re the expert when it comes to the kid._

_Yeah, well, not this time._

_You’re selling yourself short, Ellison. We both know you’ll sort something out, you always do. Now.....are you coming down to finish this report, or what?_

_Yeah, ok, I’ll be there in half an hour._

_Great! See ya then._

_Bye._

_Bye._

_*click*_

Technically I should feel both ashamed and guilty for listening in on the entire message, but I don’t, even though I know it was wrong. Instead, I feel a sense of relief and elation as the words of their conversation sink deep into my mind. Now, as I look back over the last few weeks through different eyes, I no longer see Jim’s impatience as aggression towards me; instead, I see it for what it was, is….fear. Why has it taken me till now to notice?

I hit the delete button on the answering machine and thank the powers that be for Jim’s ignorance over the recording; a huge smile spreading across my face as I make my way towards my bedroom to retrieve something small, but significant. I want to bring a hint of Sandburg back into the loft, nothing too obvious mind you; I don’t want to give the game away.

I pick up my laptop and make my way back to the kitchen. It would be stupid to put any of my ‘other’ things back into the loft so soon; that would be too obvious, this is more subtle, but should be just enough to help ease Jim’s mind. Maybe a few papers strewn across the table would help too? Yes, everything’s going to be ok, we’re going to get through this.

The End


End file.
